Gadgets, Gizmos...

(Crowley) glanced at his watch, which was designed for the kind of rich deap-sea diver who likes to know what the time is in twenty-one world capitals while he's down there. It was custom-made for Crowley. Getting just one chip custom-made is incredibly expensive but he could afford it. This watch gave the time in twenty world capitals and in a capital city in Another Place, where it was always one time, and that was Too Late.
~ page 7

Crowley likes shiny, expensive things. Like his car, or the accessories that he keeps on his person, such as his watch. Crowley is introduced to the readers right away as a lover of modern gadgetry. In the opening scene of the (modern-day portion of) the novel, Crowley uses a very nifty pen that can write underwater to sign his name on Hastur's clipboard. "Whatever will they think of next?" Ligur comments.

But that's nothing compared to the gadgets that Crowley has filled his London flat with. Crowley's flat "was everything that a flat should be: spacious, white, elegantly furnished, and with that designer unlived-in look that only comes from not being lived in" (page 223). Said furnishings include a huge television, a white leather sofa, a laserdisc player (since the book is dated before the advent of the DVD), two telephones, one with a secret private line, and an exquisite home theater sound system. The lighting in the main lounge is all "spotlights and white neon tubes." On one wall Crowley keeps a framed copy of the original sketch of DaVinci's Mona Lisa.

Crowley also has a very expensive, if useless, computer.

(In the flat) there was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant. Nevertheless, Crowley upgraded it every few months, because a sleek computer was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have. This one was like a Porsche with a screen.
~ page 224

It is worth noting that within Crowley's flat he also keeps a collection of books, records, and genuine "Soul Music" on shelves in perfect alphabetical order.

Oh, and for another fun random tidbit about Crowley's apartment: here is one fan's educated guess as to the real-world location of Crowley's Mayfair flat.

  ...and Green

The only thing in the flat Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge and green and glorious, with shiny, healthy, lustrous leaves. This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic plant mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants... The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.
~ page 225

In the early seventies, Crowley heard on the radio that talking to plants was supposed to make them grow better. So he decided to do just that - talk to his houseplants. However, Crowley doesn't just talk to his plants. He threatens and bullies them into growing for him.

As if that weren't bad enough, Crowley occassionally chooses a particular plant that might be wilting or growing a bit too slowly, and parades it around the flat in front of the other plants.

"Say goodbye to your friend," he'd say to them. "He just couldn't cut it..."
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
~ page 225

Crowley's obviously not doing this because he strives to be a good gardener. He's probably not doing it for the sheer evil thrill of it, either. I can recognize a petty Ceasarian power-trip when I see it. ^_^ Crowley may be a Damned bastard, but he probably also harbors some deep-seated psychological complexes (possibly deriving from his relatively low rank in Hell?) that he can only deal with by lashing out against his poor, defenseless plants.

In addition, Blue further comments:

...In Bio our professor informed us all that plants and animals release gametes when they feel mortally threatened. Because of this, the best way to get a plant to bloom is to convince it it's going to die. I just got a kick out of discovering that Crowley's approach to horticulture actually has a scientific basis.

Of course, the whole "talking to your plants" thing has a scientific basis, too - you release carbon dioxide when you breath near a plant, and of course plants like to eat that yummy carbon dioxide. But seeing as how at any given moment one can't be sure whether Crowley is remembering to breathe or not, there's always the "convince them they're going to die" theory to fall back on as well.

<--- Forbidden Fruit // Slither Home --->

Important Note: Page numbers in reference to quotations from the book refer to the 1996 Ace mass-market paperback edition.     Disclaimer: Crowley, Aziraphale, and Good Omens are owned and copyrighted by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Excerpts and quotes from the novel Good Omens used throughout this site are reproduced without legal permission, for which I can only hang my head sheepishly and apologize. However, this is a FANSITE, meant in the name of fun, and not intended to make a profit. The lovely model in this site's header graphic is an endangered Eastern Indigo Snake, in a photograph courtesy of SeaWorld.org. Brushes used in the header graphic are courtesy of Paper Flowers.