Jesus Christ Superstar

They’d gone to see it. Well, Azriphale had gone to see it and Crowley had tagged along because Azriphale was paying.

Azriphale liked seeing things like this. Crowley enjoyed it too, in a way. He enjoyed watching films and plays about the life of Jesus because it allowed him time to gloat. This time, it hadn’t been his mistake.

Oh, no. Crowley hadn’t been trusted to successfully deal with this one. Although with hindsight it was hard to tell whether Crowley would have made even more of a bloody mess of it than Hastur had.

Hastur.

He’d come down, full of his self-opinionated plans while Crowley had hung along behind. How many times had Crowley tried to explain about Martyrdom? But Hastur hadn’t listened. A few years on earth and suddenly he thought he was the expert on everything. Crowley could remember it now:

“Once he’s dead, he’s dead. End of story. Betray him, even better. There are twelve followers for Hell’s sake; one of them’s bound to feel jealous.”

Crowley had watched, albeit unwillingly (but with a clear idea of what would happen if he didn’t do what he was told) and seen Judas. Worried, deep-thinking Judas, who didn’t really like all the attention Jesus was getting.

It had been too easy.

“What did you think of it?” Azriphale asked as they drove home.

“Jesus’ hair was the wrong colour” Crowley replied. He knew Azriphale wasn’t really listening. Azriphale got all excited when he came back from a night out and was so busy thinking of questions that he didn’t really listen to the answers.

“Yes, it was quite good.” Azriphale reflected. “I rather liked the Last Supper; it was done very well wasn’t it? It was a pity the action stopped just at the important part. Watch out for that lamp-post. Which was your favourite scene?”

“In the temple,” Crowley snapped He couldn’t help it, but Azriphale talking like this got on his nerves. It wasn’t actually his, Crowley’s fault, but Azriphale had already scored it up as a personnel victory.

“Stop sulking, dear boy, just because you made a mess of it. You win some, you loose some.”

“I’m not sulking.” A whole month spent on Judas, pumping him full of thoughts of money, rewards and how wrong everything was going. You had plenty of help from Up There, I had one absolute bastard convinced that he knew everything.

I had no thought at all about my own reward

Hah!

I really didn’t come here of my own accord

Well, at least they got one thing right.

[Author’s note-The bit about Hastur being responsible for Jesus’ downfall was completely made up as there is no basis or evidence in the book to suggest it. I just feel that if it had been Crowley who’d been in charge of it he would have lost his field posting some time ago.

For those of you who have not seen Jesus Christ Superstar there about three points worth mentioning concerning the text:

Azriphale says; ‘the action stopped just at the important part’ JCS stops just a Jesus has been killed. I guess for Azri, the important bit comes next.

Crowley says his favourite scene is; ‘In the temple’ the ‘temple’ scene shows the misuse of the temple. It is being used as a gambling house/brothel. I feel that out of all the scenes, this would be the one Crowley would enjoy most.

The last two lines in italics are the lines from the chorus sung by Judas as he is betraying Jesus to the Romans. The whole chorus (in case anyone’s vaigly interested) goes:

I had no thought at all about my own reward

I really didn’t come here of my own accord.

Just don’t

Say I’m

Dammed…for all time.]